Close on old array of typewriter print keys

If you want to write a novel that’s literary as fuck

Then here are some tips from the fucking great Suzanne Reisman. 6. Why’d That Asshole Do That, Part II A novel that’s literary as fuck needs some baseline plot, even if your character development is fucking amazing and you don’t believe in pedestrian bullshit, like plots. People appreciate a little fucking action. That is why even readers of books who are literary as fuck flock to superhero movies that have almost no character development at all....

 · Laura Lis Scott
themetapicture-sneakers.jpg

In which words flow, but not where I need them

The place: The Facebook website thingie. The time: A moment of weakness (escaping from my manuscript). The assignment: “Exercise!!! 250-500-100 words (some kind of narrative). No “to be” verbs!” The inspiration: This great photo (above). My jotted whatnot: Without Sole Has anyone seen my sneakers? They walked off with my soul, and now I wander the earth, barefoot and in mourning, experiencing a life bereft of meaning. Who knew shoes could take so much merely through their absence?...

 · Laura Lis Scott
8399f-img.jpg

Piggies for tomorrow

Piggies are for saving! My piggy is Instapaper, Pinboard and Evernote, where I bookmark all the things that my ADD head says, “Oh I’ll want to read this later.” But when does later come? I think it’s tomorrow, and when I realize that, I figure heck! What was I worried about? I can look at that tomorrow? So when does tomorrow actually arrive? And then I realize that it never comes....

 · Laura Lis Scott
Man laughing, head back covering his eyes

H is for Ho Ho Ho Hee Hee Hee Ha Ha Ha

It’s one thing to know formal English, but this is not all that’s required for the subtleties of communication. Consider these monosyllabic grunts—and their variants—that begin with H: Ha! (That’s funny!) Ha! (I don’t believe you.) Ha! (Go away, critter!) Aha! (I see!) Ha–ha! (That’s very funny!) Ha–ha! (That is not funny.) He… (Who?) He (Helium) HECKa–BBBBBB! (I’m making a hip TV reference you probably don’t get.) Hee! (Made me giggle....

 · Laura Lis Scott
The Scream, by Edvard Munch.

I is for Iambic Pentameter

To what domain should I devote my pen? To verse where I betray my ignorance? For I to put these words on blogging, sense Is strained by hackneyed turns of phrase—what then? Oh Muse! Betray me not! This dalliance Is but a metered post occasioned when The A to Z endeavor strikes again A block on all my words. And so I hence State: I am giving up writing iambic pentameter....

 · Laura Lis Scott